A Deep Unfathomable Relationship with My Dad
It was Father’s day 2015 and social media was streaming with messages, thank you notes and memories old and new. The same time, I also saw posts on awareness about elder abuse and the need to care for our own father, mother and grandparents. Our culture roots on ‘Matha Pitha Guru Deivam’, a salient learning that every one of us does in our kindergarten to inculcate the basics of giving respect to our parents, followed by teachers first and then God. So for Indians, it is Mother’s day, Father’s day every day.
We hardly say Thank you or sorry to our close ones especially parents. Being a parent today, I understood what it is to be a parent and how oblivious I have been in recognizing their sacrifices and efforts to see me happy and above all the pain of being taken for granted. I would consider this day as an opportunity to recollect my thoughts and that is what I can do as they have already left me. For those lucky enough to have them, this is a good time to pat you and say ‘Yes, I am taking care of my parents well, giving them time and also ensuring they smile through their hearts.’ Though I am happy to see so much online about dads on this day, I would seriously wish that each one gives a little hug to him in person and spend a day with him to make this day lot more meaningful and happy.
I belong to a generation where 4 or 5 children in a family were normal. My dad had time for everyone as he was working in a Government organization and was at home on time to be with us. As a child with wheezing problems and also naughty to the core gulping stick ice creams whenever I got a chance so I needed frequent doctor visits and medication. I was a foodie then (even now) and demanded that the food prepared should be served to me. Doctor always prescribed bread and porridge during these days and I loathe them even today because they always prevented me from having my choice of food. The wafting aroma of home cooked food (sans pesticides) those days were irresistible.
My dad spoke to the doctor during our visit the next time on my food and doctor so benevolently gave me permission to have Jeera rasam rice. For all those not familiar with this term, it is a mild watery liquid made with cumin and pepper and all those ancient medicinal spices available in our kitchen. It was worse, quite spicy and tangy, making me lean more towards the normal food we take daily. To give due credit to this rasam, it is good for health and works wonders yet I did not like it. During those days, my dad kept awake throughout the night and gave me syrup at regular intervals, inhalations (Vicks) in hot water with the blanket covered to ease my cough and help me sleep in peace.
With hardly any sleep in the night, I have seen him go to work in the morning and return back to continue this in the nights till I was cured. And the highlight of the whole thing is this – No cooking of aromatic food at home and everyone ate Jeera Rasam rice till I began eating normal meals. This is just one incident and the list is endless.
Who can give us this love and affection without expecting anything in return? This is my dad who also had to play the role of my mom who left me much earlier. Words do not suffice and in such moments, when heart talks, everything else stops.
This post is my hug with glistening eyes and all my heart to my dad who is always with me.